The Letters, Part 2

The apology. This is always the hardest to do. In high school I was known for making "I'm Sorry" cards because it was too hard for me to apologize to some one's face... so I made them a card. I don't know what it is about me, probably my pride, but I hate apologizing. But after the phone call I had this evening I've never been more ready and able to make an apology.

Dear Dillon,

It was so good talking to you tonight. I've missed your sweet little, so excited about life, voice. But talking to you tonight made me so sorry that I am not more of a part of your life. It kills me that I don't live right down the street from you. I am so sorry that I don't get to see you every week, have dinner with you, pick you up from Miss Cindy's and take you on adventures, see your new Spiderman bedroom,  or help you get ready for your new baby sister. But most of all, I am so sorry that I am going to miss your birthday party next weekend.

I so wish that I could be there but with my work schedule, I can't, and I apologize. I want to be there with you to eat pizza and see you be the star in The Chuck e Cheese Show. I wish I could buy you the pinata that is full of tickets and tokens and see you bust it open with all your little friends. I wish I could actually bring your present to you on your birthday rather than send it in the mail like I usually do, and I am so sorry.

The upside of all of this is that I cherish every single second that I do get to spend with you, but it is not enough. I miss seeing you grow and I miss being a huge part of your every day life. You are my little man, and I love you more than I ever thought I could.

You make me nervous to have children of my own because I'm not sure if they could ever be as smart or as cute or as wonderful as you, but eventually, I will, because I want you to have little cousins to share life's adventures with.

I love you, and I'm sorry, especially sorry that I'm going to miss your 4th Birthday Party.

Enjoy, Dillon, I can't wait to hear all about it.

Love,

Aunt Tracy

Our First Little Photo Together. I can't believe it's been four years.

Happy Birthday, My Sweet Nephew